Imagine a world where people didn’t talk behind their friends backs. Instead, they spoke from their heart and explained what they were truly feeling. It seems so hard to do that, because of the instant reaction most of us experience to our emotions. No matter how much you talk shit about people, no matter how many angry or hurtful words you throw at people. It will get you know where. That feeling you throw out will come back to you and it will make you hurt and be upset with yourself. A lot of us aren’t aware of that… but I believe it to be true.
I’m scared to speak my mind because of the emotional reactions I may cause. I’m a “people pleaser.” For me, it’s become habit to shut down and internalize it all. Instead of throwing hurtful words at others I do it to myself. It feels so good to know that about myself because now I realize I need to work on communicating in a gentle way with TRUTH. I’m always scared of hurting other people and whenever I hold back because of this it hurts me. I’m lying to myself, trying to protect others. I’m protecting no one by doing this. You cannot have a peaceful mind if you are feeding yourself with something other than truth.
We learn things and the lessons never end. You may think you are doing something right one day and then realize the next that it doesn’t work. That just means you must continue the lesson until you feel settled with what you know. These days I’ve been listening to that little voice in my gut, my conscience.. it’s a beautiful teacher.